Years ago when most people rented their TV sets, I got a job with one of the better-known TV rental companies. They had just signed a contract with the House of Frazer to deliver and maintain all their electrical equipment.
On my first day I was dispatched to the more select part of Newport to deliver a top of the range colour TV and video recorder. The gate to this house had huge pillars with concrete balls on top and an immaculate tendered lawn leading up to the big front door.
So I rock up in my shiny new van with the company logo splashed all over it, and I was NOT prepared for the explosion of hysterics that erupted from the lady who opened the front door.
What the hell was this, she spat. How dare you come to my house in THAT vehicle with THAT name all over it? What would my neighbours think? If I order stuff from House of Frazer I expect it to be delivered in House of Frazer vans with House of Frazer colours and House of Frazer name on it. Get off my property NOW. I’ll be speaking to the Director of House of Frazer and demanding an explanation for this disgusting episode. Go on, get off my property.
Of course I was so agitated by being spoken to like something that dropped off a dog’s bottom that jumped back in my van and reversed down the drive at stupid speed. And I collided with one of the pillars. Which dislodged the big concreted ball. Which thudded into the pavement so hard it sank down about eight inches into the ground.
So I dropped the van off and went back down the dole office …